Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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