Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
