her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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