At least make sure they are 18
Why
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
