chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
