She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
