sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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