I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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