is your mom at the bar?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize
