From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
