i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
