Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
