Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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