Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
