Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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