Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
