coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
