he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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