You're so nebulous sometimes
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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