And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I supernannyed him into submission
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
