And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
