pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
