don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dick very happy bro
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
