There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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