Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
