fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
