I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My vagina is very pro this idea
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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