He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
