butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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