I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
