Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
