You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
