i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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