you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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