Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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