i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
