i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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