my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
