We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
