You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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