I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
