i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
