i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
