People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
