next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
