Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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