I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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