you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
