if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
