More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
