oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
His hands were made for my vagina.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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