someone get that fucking seahorse.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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